Love & Inner Work: Searching for the Magical Other

Course Description

In his classic style, calling upon mythology, poetry, and personal story, James Hollis asks us to reflect on our relationships and the fantasies we unconsciously have about our Self and the Other. 

Early on, he points to the overarching challenge set before us: since we can never truly know our Self, we face an impossible task if we expect that we can ever truly know the Other. So, where does that leave us? And yet, at the same time, we long to connect.

In each of the six classes, he elaborates on the many ways we attempt to know and connect with the Other. Projection is a central tool in our arsenal, and with good reason. Once we experience something, we pack away the knowledge for future reference. Then, when something or someone appears to be the same, we call on our previous knowledge. It’s efficient for us to learn and apply what we’ve learned. 

However, what we project on the Other is not likely who they are and it means we have expectations of them that they can’t possibly comprehend or begin to meet. 

How we can begin to unpack the projection is our challenge. Hollis jokes that he disappoints those who covet romantic notions of relationship. But, what he leaves us with is something even greater: an understanding of how we can nurture a relationship with both the Other and our Self. 

Note! This program is being offered by the Jung Center of Houston and the Jung Platform. The original recording of this lecture took place at the Jung Center. The recording has been remastered.

This course is ideal if

• You want to better understand the repeating relationship patterns you see in your life.
• You want to deepen your relationship with Self.
• You are seeking a clearer way to respond to the various relationships in your life.
• You are a therapist seeking varying approaches to relationship challenges with and for your clients.

Course Overview

Class 1: The Archaic Fantasy 

Romantic love replaced religion in popular culture. Hollis examines this statement in this first class, and shows there is a desire for connection in both romance as well as religion.

The words relationship and religion are etymologically connected. They both refer to a wish to re-connect to the source (after estrangement/separation). Hollis says that our life is a continuing rhythm of attachment and loss. We set out to find the Magical Other to become whole again. 

When we can let go of our primal fantasies, withdraw our projections, and no longer expect our ‘other’ to rescue us, we become more intimate with ourselves, and with it our relationship to the other improves. 

Class 2: Projection and Transference

Following a summary of how and why we project, Hollis talks about the five stages of projection. In the final stage, you notice what you put out there and how it continues to come back to you.   Transference is the story that goes with the projection. This is how patterns are created in our life.

Class 3: Projection and Transference continued

Ask yourself: what is leading me to all of this and how am I accountable? Awareness of projection is the key, an awareness that can be felt throughout all of your energy systems.

Class 4: Attachment, Loss, and Ethics

Our first encounter with life is through the separation of relationship as we are violently expelled into this world and set adrift.

But, even as you seek connection with the Other, you must be prepared to ask yourself: “What can I reasonably ask of the other person? Who do we believe is responsible for take care of my emptiness?”

Class 5: Strategies

Hollis explores relational strategies that have evolved from primal perceptions of Self and Other. 

Ultimately, the question comes down to this: Are you larger or smaller as a result of your relationship/affiliation/membership?

Class 6: Relationship with the transcendent Other

As human beings that can’t help but perceive all that is through our subjectivity, how can we relate to the mystery of what is within and what is beyond us and throughout the universe?

By the end of this course you will

• Recognize some archetypal patterns in your behavior and feelings and in the people around you.
• Understand that we all project what we have yet to acknowledge within ourselves.
• List the ways in which we create the patterns that have formed like ever-deepening grooves, and how we can find remedy.
• Acknowledge that there is no ‘magical other’ that will sweep in and solve all of our longings for security and connection.