In a codependent relationship, the codependent partner often sacrifices their own needs to meet the needs of the narcissistic partner, narcissistic parent or narcissistic coworker. This dynamic, known as the codependent narcissist trap, can lead to unhealthy relationships, emotional abuse and a loss of self worth and loss of self.
This codependency and narcissism course focuses on this tangle from several angles, including the Jungian, the mythological, and the psychoanalytic. Codependency can include feeling responsible for regulating the emotions of others, saving and rescuing, difficulty setting boundaries, feeling rejected when criticized, and guilt over not doing enough for others.
A narcissistic person is seeking constant validation and narcissistic supply. They exploit the codependent other’s need for approval and fear of abandonment. Characteristics of narcissism include selfishness, exploitation, undermining, and retaliation.
Because grandiose narcissism is generally not difficult to spot, in this course we will focus mainly on covert (or ‘vulnerable’) narcissism: the kind that begins with charm and apparent deep empathy and ends in acrimonious attack. They may appear shy or introverted but still exhibit manipulative and self-centered behaviors. Recognizing these patterns is crucial for those in a codependent narcissist relationship to protect themselves. This course examines how these two psychologies play out in families, at work, and in relationships.
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Recognize codependent behaviors in yourself or someone else
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Manage yourself when you're entangled in a dysfunctional or unhealthy relationship with a narcissist.
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Deal with a person with narcissism
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Class 1 – Codependency Meets Narcissism
After a brief review of codependency and narcissism, we will look closely at what happens when someone with codependency runs into someone with narcissism. What are the signals that go back and forth? How does each person misinterpret the other? What does this interplay look like in various settings? What makes codependency so vulnerable to narcissistic exploitation?
Class 2 – Echo and Narcissus – A Tale of Two Origin Stories
The myth of Echo and Narcissus will provide a doorway into the family histories and deep dynamics of people who suffer from codependency and from narcissism. Part of this suffering has to do with the truncated guiding stories we carry when psychologically wounded. Each partial story bears an unattainable goal at its heart.
Class 3 – Tactical Considerations
In this class we will examine options for how to take care of ourselves when 1. our codependency entangles with someone else’s narcissism in various settings, 2. what to do when confronted by someone else’s codependency, and 3. what is liable to surface from the depths in these encounters.
Class 4 – How Echo Moves On, Singing
What Echo learned from her godlike parents was silence. But what is learned can also be unlearned. In the context of Echo rewriting the ending of her story, we will consider the possibilities for deep healing that parallel harvesting the lessons of our self-limiting guiding stories about giving and taking while expanding them into possibilities that promote individuation.
Bonus Class
In this bonus class, Craig Chalquist guides you through several exercises. When you recognize the presence of the codependency–narcissism dynamic in your own life, these practices will invite you to reflect on what the psyche is asking of you now. There was also space for dialogue and participants shared their questions and insights from the classes of this course.
