Codependency: How to Identify and Heal

This audio course will look at codependency and its impact on different areas in life. Codependency can be defined as an attachment to people who seem to need or want emotional caretaking. 

Class 1: psychological dynamics of codependency
In class 1, we will explore what codependency is. Codependency often results from a diminished sense of self, where one’s self-worth becomes entangled with another’s approval. A person struggling with codependency may lose sight of their true self, becoming overly reliant on others for validation. Developing a strong sense of self is crucial for overcoming codependency and fostering healthier relationships. We will also explore what its psychological dynamics look like. How does it show up in our daily lives? Chalquist guides us to identify what tends to reveal itself in people with codependency.

Class 2: Codependency and Archetypes
By examining codependent behavior through the lens of archetypes, you can gain insights into your personal myth and life narratives. This perspective encourages a richer exploration of the self and the inner archetypal world that shapes one’s experiences. In the second class, we will look at the archetypal level of codependency.

Class 3: Codependency in Folklore
Folklore offers insight into these unconscious dynamics, helping individuals understand and integrate their own inner conflicts. This approach provides a richer understanding of codependency, moving beyond surface behaviors to address underlying psychological patterns. This class will look at some folklore (featuring characters that seem to exemplify codependence) and what we can learn from them. 

Class 4: Codependent Systems: Family, Workplace, and Community
Next, we will consider complex social systems such as the family, workplace, and the community. This class addresses questions like: How does codependence arise in families and what purpose does it serve? How do parts of a system interact with each other and how do they evolve? The root of codependent tendencies can often be traced back to early relational dynamics and attachment styles. These early experiences shape how individuals form and maintain relationships throughout their lives. For instance, a family therapist might observe that a codependent individual often exhibits behaviors reflective of their early attachment issues, where boundaries were blurred and selfhood was undermined. These dynamics, when replicated in adulthood, contribute to unhealthy relationships marked by imbalances in power and emotional control.

Class 5: Heeding the Deep Call Inside the Symptom
What are the symptoms of codependency telling us? What can be done about this? How can we heal from codependency? These questions will be examined in this last class. The process of healing codependency involves more than just breaking free from unhealthy relationships; it requires a profound personal transformation. This journey often includes revisiting and redefining one’s attachment style and developing a deeper understanding of self.

By examining codependent behavior through the lens of archetypes, you can gain insights into your personal myth and life narratives. This perspective encourages a richer exploration of the self and the inner archetypal world that shapes one’s experiences. In the second class, we will look at the archetypal level of codependency.

Next, we will consider complex social systems such as the family, workplace, and the community. This class addresses questions like: How does codependence arise in families and what purpose does it serve? How do parts of a system interact with each other and how do they evolve? The root of codependent tendencies can often be traced back to early relational dynamics and attachment styles. These early experiences shape how individuals form and maintain relationships throughout their lives. For instance, a family therapist might observe that a codependent individual often exhibits behaviors reflective of their early attachment issues, where boundaries were blurred and selfhood was undermined. These dynamics, when replicated in adulthood, contribute to unhealthy relationships marked by imbalances in power and emotional control.

I have worked on my codependency for years, but this course gave me another perspective I had overlooked before. (Annemarie)

I related completely. It gave words to my experience and a greater sense of connection. (Eva)

I liked the teacher's sharing of personal examples that fit the topic material perfectly. It helped me apply it to myself. (Mark)

In Jungian psychology, codependency is understood as more than a relationship problem. It is a symptom of a diminished sense of self. When our own identity becomes entangled with another person's emotional state, we lose contact with what Jung called the Self. The Self is the deeper centre of the psyche that guides us toward wholeness. Codependency often develops when, early in life, we learned that our worth depended on how well we cared for others. The result is a persona built around caretaking, while our own needs and authentic self are pushed into the shadow.

The signs of codependency can include feeling responsible for regulating other people's emotions, difficulty setting healthy boundaries, feeling guilty when you are not available for others, and a tendency to feel rejected when criticized. From a Jungian perspective, a key sign is the heroic element — the unconscious belief that you have been assigned the task of saving or fixing someone else. When you find yourself repeatedly drawn to people who seem to need rescuing, this is often the shadow of codependency speaking.

Codependency and narcissism are deeply intertwined. Jungian psychology helps explain why. Codependents are often unconsciously drawn to narcissists, and narcissists tend to attract codependents. The codependent person provides the caretaking and validation the narcissist requires, while the narcissist provides the codependent with a sense of purpose and identity. Understanding this dynamic through the lens of archetypes and shadow work is essential for breaking the pattern and moving toward interdependence rather than codependence.

Codependency is a one-sided dynamic in which one person's sense of self depends on caring for, fixing, or being needed by another. Interdependence, by contrast, is a relationship between two whole people. Each with their own identity, boundaries, and inner life. They choose to support each other from a place of strength rather than need. In Jungian terms, moving from codependency to interdependence requires shadow work: understanding what drives the compulsion to caretake, and reconnecting with the parts of yourself that were sacrificed in the process.

Shadow work is central to healing codependency. The shadow is in Jungian psychology, the unconscious part of the psyche that contains what we have repressed or denied. Often the shadow holds the unexpressed needs, desires, and anger of the codependent person. Because codependents tend to define themselves through giving, their own needs go underground into the shadow. This shadow can emerge as passive aggression, resentment, exhaustion, or sudden emotional collapse. By bringing these shadow elements into awareness, codependents begin to reclaim their authentic self and build relationships based on genuine connection rather than unconscious need. If family systems interest you. You might also be interested in this course on archetypal family systems.

Codependency is a personal and collective pattern. It also operates within systems (groups). In families, it can be traced back to early attachment dynamics where boundaries were blurred and a child learned to suppress their own needs to maintain harmony. In workplaces, codependency can appear as an inability to delegate, over-responsibility for colleagues' feelings, or a compulsive need for approval from authority figures. Jungian psychology looks at these dynamics through the lens of family systems and archetypes, helping us understand not just individual behavior but the collective patterns that shape how we relate to others in every area of life.

Craig Chalquist, PhD, is a depth psychologist, philosopher, and author with two doctoral degrees and decades of experience working with individuals, families, and organisations. He has taught at the California Institute of Integral Studies, Pacifica Graduate Institute, and National University, where he currently serves as Academic Program Director of Consciousness, Psychology, and Transformation. His approach to depth psychology goes beyond the purely personal. He draws on Jungian psychology, mythology, family systems, and archetypal theory to understand the unconscious patterns that shape how we relate to ourselves and others. This makes him uniquely qualified to teach codependency not as a clinical label but as a lived psychological dynamic with roots in family systems, personal myth, and the shadow. He has also taught the highly-rated course on Narcissism at Jung Platform. Codependency and narcissism are rarely found far apart.

In this blog Craig Chalquist explains an important aspect of the Narcissus myth. He talks about Echo; the nymph who loved Narcissus:  When Echo met Narcissus