Heartbreak and Its Invitations

Course Description

Heartbreak occurs when we lose someone or something to which we have deeply attached our heart. This course explores how to navigate devastating loss and lingering pain while the world moves on. 

Most of us are wired to avoid suffering, and we will continue to do so unless we have a reason to face the pain. Facing it is essential to prevent the heart from closing. A closed heart keeps us from fully loving again. Through theory, case examples, and practical tools, Akke-Jeanne offers guidance in relating to this painful yet potentially transformative experience.

Life presents deep suffering, and we develop strategies to cope: denying, ignoring, controlling, pretending things are ‘okay’. These are default responses because the pain feels too intense. Yet, fully feeling the experience is needed to heal. This course teaches how to do so in a compassionate way.

Heartbreak awakens us to what it truly means to be human and vulnerable. It guides us toward greater emotional maturity. When we reflect on our experience, we learn about our defenses. They are often rooted in fear of suffering and the unknown. When we gain insight into which defenses are driving our behavior, we get a chance to release those defenses that no longer serve us. It helps us realign with our authentic self.

In heartbreak, life calls us to be present with our suffering, which is immensely challenging. Every heartbreak is also a reminder of past heartbreaks. Consciously relating to the present pain may awaken unprocessed wounds of the past. The psyche sees an opportunity to heal old wounds and presents them to us. By paying embodied attention to the pain and reflecting, we may even gain new insight into our personal (and collective) history.

Loss and letting go are part of the human experience. We all must learn to relate to these experiences. When we sit with our pain, despair, fears, and let go, the heart reopens. We gain strength, experience love, and create space for new possibilities. This is heartbreak’s transformative potential. At its core, it invites us to live and love more boldly.

Akke-Jeanne identified eight invitations of heartbreak that she will discuss in this course. These invitations are also described in her book on heartbreak, published in 2020 (in Dutch).

This course is ideal if you want to:

• Recognize 8 invitations in heartbreak
• Deal with pain, loss and other ‘dark feelings’ of heartbreak
• Learn to deal with painful experiences of the past
• Recognize defense mechanisms that prevent you from fully loving and living
• Live (again) with an open heart
• Embrace life and learn how to love more deeply

Course Overview

Class 1  Being present to the experience

Heartbreak is a confrontation with our vulnerability, a shattering of the illusions we have built around ourselves. To heal, we must face the pain without avoiding it, acknowledging its presence in every form: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. We often rush to escape suffering, but only by slowing down and sitting with it can we begin to transform. Accepting suffering is essential; it’s not something to quickly rid ourselves of, but a necessary part of life’s unfolding. We must allow ourselves to grieve to make room for renewal.

Healing demands responsibility. It doesn’t just happen to us; we must actively engage. We need to observe how our perceptions shape our experience and choose to rise above victimhood. Transformation comes when we allow ourselves to be guided through the process. Our soul knows the way.

Class 2 Emotional healing for overcoming heartbreak

The wounds of the past shape and amplify our experience of grief in the present. The psyche does not operate on a strict timeline—old wounds remain active in the unconscious and are reactivated when current loss strikes. The grief we feel today is rarely just about the present moment; it is layered with echoes of past losses, unmet needs, and unresolved pain.

Heartbreak is not only about what is lost externally but also about what it reawakens internally. The unconscious seizes the moment of suffering to surface unfinished business, such as childhood wounds, betrayals, or the longing for security and love. Until these wounds are brought into awareness and processed, they continue to shape how we respond to loss.

Heartbreak asks us to reflect and deal with the experiences of the present and the past. Self-care and self-compassion are essential when we sit with our fears and wounds.  

Class 3 The body and surrender

In this class, we explore the grieving body, and the process of surrender.

Surrendering and letting go are pivotal for evolution. Letting go is at the core of individuation (Carl Jung’s term for the journey of becoming our truest selves). Surrender is not passive. It is a conscious release of control, letting go of ego-driven desires, and embracing the unknown. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, accepting that we don’t have all the answers, we are more open to the soul’s messages. We have to accept that we are on the timeline of the Gods. Through the experience of heartbreak we come to recognize that forces beyond our control shape our journey. It’s our task to follow the subtle clues guiding us forward.

Class 4 Facing challenges in healing from heartbreak

Some situations however make it more difficult to recover from heartbreak. Healing is challenging when unresolved childhood wounds or patterns resurface. These patterns, often tied to past trauma, abandonment, or unmet needs, make the pain feel unbearable when touched by heartbreak.

It also becomes harder when we resist surrendering to the experience and letting go of the ego’s need for control. This is often more difficult when we have been in a toxic relationship. For our survival we had to cling to our defenses, but those defenses make it harder for heartbreak’s transformative power to work.

According to Akke-Jeanne, healing comes when we learn to sit with discomfort and let the process unfold naturally. 

Each class also offers an opportunity for Q&A, discussion, and further deepening of our experiences with heartbreak and the invitations it holds for us.

By the end of this course you will

• Recognize the callings in heartbreak as part of your personal journey.
• List the psychological tasks that come with an experience of heartbreak.
• Be able to deal with heartbreak in an experiential and soulful way.
• Reflect on your engagement with the hidden call for transformation.
• Apply tools and perspectives to the relationship with yourself and others.
• Be able to establish a deepened connection with your soul.
• Apply a depth perspective to live with an open-heart and rediscover Eros in your everyday life.